When does the anxiety end? Does it end?

When I was pregnant with Mr. Man I was so anxious:
  Will I miscarry again?
   Is his heart beating?
   He's not moving like usual, is he okay? (followed by making Sam come and talk to my tummy to get Mr. Man moving again when I'd get to the totally freaked out stage)
   Is he kicking enough? When did he last move? He normally has moved by now...oh, whew, there it is.
   What are the chances of cord problems? Are you sure that's not going to be an issue doctor?
   My hips hurt so bad and he is so big- can I deliver this baby? Will I have to have a C-section?
   Will I have problems after I deliver him - with my hips?
   How will I deal with a tri-level house after a C-section and a newborn to take care of? (thanks again Mom/Lulu)

Now that Mr. Man is here I am still so anxous:
  Is he breathing?
  Is that sound normal?
  Should he be coughing? Does that mean he's sick?
  Is he getting enough to eat? (*laugh*)
  Is he breathing?
  Will he forgive me for clipping his finger when I tried to trim his nails the first time?
  Am I a bad mommy for letting him cry while I try and take a shower?
  Will he ever sleep through the night? (aka when will I sleep longer than 4 hours)
  Is he breathing?
  When does the SIDS fear end?
  How do people who make less than us raise more children than we do with less than we have?(kids are 'spensive)
   Am I getting enough photographs of him?
   Is he breathing?
 

I've always been a worrier. I can't help it. I worry all day, throughout the day and into the night.
I worry for myself and my family. I worry for friends. I worry for co-workers. I worry for strangers. I worry for those people who stand by the road begging for money - the ones who really truly need it. I worry for the people running our country. I worry for people who put their lives on the line every day at their jobs.  I worry for people in other homes/cities/states/countries. I worry for other children in the world. I worry for people who have lost their children/parents/siblings/friends. I worry for my enemies. I worry for friends lost. I weep when I see physically and mentally handicapped men/women/children- I worry for them so. I worry about decisions made, things said, things thought about. I worry about so many things I can't even imagine.
These are a lot of my worries, but don't fret, I'm not like compulsive or whatever. I just worry.
And then I pray. I pray for all of them. And then I pray for God. Yes to Him, but also for Him. He has more worries than I and I worry for Him.

Since bringing Mr. Man home from the hospital however I've definitely had to use my night-guard. My anxiety and worry is so great for him that I've chipped my teeth from clenching and wake with headaches all too often. I have to catch myself during the day clenching my teeth so hard. 

My biggest worry to date is: Is he breathing? I bet you couldn't tell that from my list there. heh.

Like today for instance. He took a really long nap- we're talking like 2+ hours of nap. It felt odd to me, he normally naps for only 40ish minutes. 60 minutes is a long nap for him. So at about at the 2 hour mark I had to run upstairs to watch him breathe. I'm so paranoid about his breathing - even though there has been nothing over the past 6 months to truly cause any sort of alarm.

I know the saying is that you never stop worrying about your children...but does it ever lessen a little bit?
Is this the typical "first time mom" syndrome still or just a mommy-hood trait?

When does the SIDS threat end? That's my big question for Mr. Man's pediatrician this month. When can I at least relax a little bit?

Energized

I had my first P/T visit today - lasted nearly an hour. I feel good and energized. Not sure if its the P/T solely or also the steroids I'm on for this week to try and get rid of all the inflammation in my hips. But either way, I feel pretty good despite the fact that I couldn't sleep last night.

On my way home I saw that the Kentlands is going to have a Baby Bazaar on 5/15. Need to put that on the calendar to attend!

Sam's off to the gym. I'm off to run some errands with Mr. Man. Enjoy the weekend. Going to try to wash the car and do a bunch of cooking later today.

Money saving list

I did some blogging around tonight and came across a TON of great ways to save money. Thanks Kelly'sKorner.

Time to get my tookus in gear and get to implementing.

Therapy and Mr Man updates

So I went to meet with the physical therapy doctor this morning. He thinks I'm actually doing pretty well considering. He seems to think based upon today's exam that I might have torn/over stretched the ligaments/cartilage in my pelvis but doesn't think I had a full separation.

He gave me a prescription for a 6-day steroid regimen (since I'm allergic to NSAIDs) to reduce the swelling. I start back into P/T this weekend and will also have acupuncture on my hips/pelvis starting next week as well.

I'm excited to get started and get to feeling better.

Mr Man is doing ok on the sleeping thing. He still sorta wakes throughout the night - wants his pacifier and sometimes just some attention for a few minutes. But overall, we're pleased.

Mr Man really started rolling over and over today. Yep back to tummy and tummy to back. So proud of my little dude. He's so full of smiles and silliness.

He made a friend in the neighborhood today - she's a couple months older and I'm pretty sure Mr Man is bigger than she is. Sadly though, they're moving soon to another state. :(

Mr Man has been doing well on his solids - he has them in the morning and for dinner. He has a good appetite and seems like he's ready for the next stage of foods. 

Mr Man turns 6 months on Sunday. Where or where has the time gone?! Trying to think of something to do to celebrate it - taking ideas!

April 22

So I put Mr Man down last night around 7:30. He woke up around 5am (wow!) so I changed him, nursed him and he went right back to sleep until 8AM. WOWOWOW! I hope he does the same tonight.

This morning an acquaintance of ours brought us a Jumparoo. This isn't the one we got (as it is several years old, and is Graco) but its in pretty much perfect condition and so far Mr Man LOVES it! I put him into it right after I put it together and he played for about 15min or so. By that time it was almost noon and he'd been up since 8, so it was getting close to nap time anyways so he started to fall asleep in it. I moved him to his swing so he could nap while I made lunch and got some work done.

He hasn't rolled from his tummy to his back since that first day. Trying to practice with him daily on that.

I went out yesterday with Mr Man on a major errand day. We went to 6 stores! That's a lot. We had a lot of fun and Mr Man got so many great compliments everywhere we went.
While I was at the baby store (out here the closest one is BuyBuyBaby) I picked up Baby Signs. We'll see how it goes but so far it looks pretty neat.  I'm trying a few signs with Mr Man now - even though he is on the young side. So far I'm trying milk, sleep, diaper, nurse, mommy.  I'll be adding more as he gets older, but I think that about covers the basics of what he needs at the moment.










While I was out I went to Penzey's and picked up some Vanilla Beans. I'm going to attempt to make some mini vanilla bean scones/glaze this weekend - just like the ones you can get at Starbucks. I saw the recipe on PW's site a while back and since I love the ones at Sbux, I figured why the heck not. This will be my first time working with real vanilla beans, but it seems easy enough. I'll try to remember my camera to post pics.


As promised - here are some Mr Man pics:

New High Chair

St.Patty's Day - and we're rolling from back to tummy

I put Mr Man here when I take my shower. This is what I came back to.

The kiddo doesn't seem to like his socks on much these days.

And because its cute: 

Can this be true?

I put Mr Man down for sleep last night around 7:30pm. At around 11pm he woke - he needed a diaper change and some mommy-moo (which I figured he would because all he'd had before the initial go down was some solids and he was too full for mommy-moo at that time). Then I went to bed. I woke up at 5:22 am hearing him on the monitor. Can this be? He slept for 6 hours? Which means, I slept for 6 hours? I hope this continues (and he sleeps for longer). But for the moment, this is a victory. I haven't had that much continuous sleep since Oct 2009 - while I was pregnant with him!

Also, I have a bunch of pics to put up later from the last month or so.  Potentially even a small video - if I can figure out how to work it all and get it loaded up.

Stay tuned!

He did it!

My little man rolled over today! A couple times.

Yippee!! Can you tell I am so proud?!

He's still a little unsure of himself but he can do it.

I first noticed it this morning. I had set him down on his tummy to play and went back to working on some things for work. I then looked over at him and he was on his back and smiling at me.  Dang! I missed it! :(

Later, after Sam came home we took him into the living room and played. Sure enough he rolled over a couple times for us.
He's so cute when he does it. He rocks side to side and then sort-of heaves himself over. Takes a bit of effort on his part but he can do it.

I have also decided I'm a wuss when it comes to nighttime wakings and feedings. My heart aches when I hear him cry. I let him sort of cry and try to get himself back to sleep tonight after he woke. After about 5-7 minutes of his fussing, I went and picked him up. Within seconds of being in my arm he was asleep. He woke when I went to lay him down again - so I nursed him a little. Afterwords, he went down easy.  I'm sure at some point I'll have to stop, but I can't just do that to a 5 month old. I'll just go with my heart and my instinct on this one. As much as I'd love to sleep the night through - I care about his well-being more. Sleep will come, in due time.